What do you do all day?

Zoe, our eight year old grand daughter, looked at me intently and asked, "Grandma, what do you do all day while Grandpa is at work?"  I truly believe that when a child poses a direct, well thought–out question, she deserves a non-defensive, well thought–out answer.*
Being ready with just the right response, I said, "Uhhh.  Can I get back to you on that?"

In all fairness, my hesitation was somewhat legitimate.  Like the sex discussion (apart from it not being my job), I didn't want to give information she didn't ask about.  Zoe didn't need the blab, blab, blab about working inside vs. outside the home, men & women in employment settings, disability, ataxia, retirement, etc.  It's not the first time I've heard the "What do you do?" question, but most often, it's from a societally–influenced, internal voice.  Going somewhere else to work never needed justification.  Involving retirement/home/productivity may introduce an unexpected, complex issue.  I know better, but that doesn't stop me from being my own harshest critic.** Just when I believe my outmoded way of thinking is in the past, I often feel the need to contribute traditionally to the family.

A former work colleague, my age, best exemplified how to embrace retirement.  By taking advantage of time and never apologizing for having a slower pace than others, he taught me to march to my own drummer. It was a good example, since it takes me at least twice as long to do everything now.  I realized that should be a significant part of my answer to Zoe.  By the time I dress, shower, drive anywhere, walk anywhere, scoot anywhere, keyboard, speak, etc., the day is gone.  I have no idea where it went.  Fortunately, I still dress, shower, drive, walk, scoot, keyboard, and speak.  Most days I'm cognitively intact, reasonably sociable and that counts for something.

When I did retire due to my progressing ataxia (although I still struggled), it was nice to have the time to handle events as they came.  Taking life one thing at a time was a new found luxury and I enjoyed not having to "fit things in" a schedule.  I didn't have daily cooking, grocery shopping, children's activities, or mandatory errands that required planning.  I knew when my husband, Earl asked about my day, it really was an inquiry rather than an accusation.  He, our children, grand children, family, and friends remain helpful and accommodating.  They're happy to just see me prioritize my health.  In that regard, I'm a very fortunate woman.

Working on the computer either can be productive or appear to be productive.  Whether genuine or feigned, either approach works.  I try not to look as though I was at the computer continuously by checking email ten times a day.  Sometime successful, sometimes not. Prolonged sitting in one position just isn't healthy for anyone, particularly someone over 60 with ataxia.  I get up just to keep my body in motion–not a good look, but functional.

I do have my share of indulgent, maintenance activities (nails, toes, massages).  I'd like to say they're required, but in truth, they're optional.  I may have a work ethic, but I'm also an unapologetic pampered diva and very good at it.

The lesson:  Now, I'm ready with a well thought–out answer.  Zoe, during the day, I may read, exercise, meet my friends, write, go for a scoot, arrange flowers, compute, or shop online.  Most importantly, I do one thing at a time and slowly.  And I really need to get my nails done.

* Previous post:  Out of the Mouths of Babes
**Previous post:  I need a job—or something