Merging Households

What happens when you have two women, one house, two housekeepers, one personal assistant and different ways of doing things?  It could be contentious, but so far, it hasn't been.  The significant thing is that Heidi and I have help to share.  Casa de Schuman is no 'South Fork', but the house is well laid out, compartmentalized and lends itself to separate living.  We are pretty adaptable and anticipated an adjustment period going into this merger.  Heidi and I may be driving Sandie and the housekeepers crazy, but we're doing fine.  The really interesting phenomenon is that even with more bodies and traffic, she and I do a better job staying on top of daily order than before.

I've had the same housekeeper for 18 years; it's a personal relationship.  The good news is, she's younger than me.  The bad news is, she isn't a good deal younger than me and deals with the usual aches and pains of midlife.  However, I'm fortunate to be retired and able to sit, while she earns her living with her physical ability.  The toll on her body from work life is a concern.  I don't want to break her and get 'fired'.  Having her clean every other week, rather than weekly, hopefully will help to that end.  Transitioning to a fuller household takes some adjustment.  The housekeeper and I each have a routine that keeps us out of each other's way.  She starts in my bedroom/bathroom, while I do some computer work (if I'm home) in the office. When she is finished, I take a rest around noon, requiring only a horizontal surface and my latest audiobook (no quiet necessary).  When I lie down, she takes on the kitchen/family room/office on the other end of the house.  She doesn't even go to the Tenison upstairs flat now.

Heidi's approach has been having a crew come in for a thorough top to bottom clean every other week.  There is less of a personal and more of a business relationship.  It may be more challenging for me to stay out of their way, but they are done and gone in a couple of hours!  Fortunately, they clean faster than I move.  One week–my housekeeper, the other week–Heidi's cleaning crew comes, giving special attention to the Tenison upstairs flat.

Accommodating different methods of housekeeping is the easy part.  One house with two generals and one soldier is a whole other story.  Sandie's been helping me bring some measure of order and control into our lives for over three years*.  Earl pointed out that the Tenison home might benefit from a similar service, given that they have easily twice the laundry and the traffic at their house.  "How about Sandie," I asked?  After checking about her availability (we are caring parents, but not stupid), Heidi hired Sandie a little over a year ago.   When we each had our own place, it was easy for Sandie to switch gears as she commuted between Casa de Schuman and Casa de Tenison.  After the merger, keeping my way and Heidi's way straight became more complicated—for Sandie.  True, there is no longer a commute, but Heidi and I are still like two generals with differing views on how to fight a war (not really that extreme–usually).

*Previous Post:  The Help

The lesson: Heidi and I have adopted a new mantra for dealing with overlapping anything.  SPEAK UP or









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