There Are No Perfect Glasses


My "bug" scooting glasses were scratched and needed replacing.  Inexpensive, the old glasses were OK–not great, but OK.  They had big lenses to more than cover my eyes and a light tint.  You rarely need sun glasses in the Pacific Northwest, but I did want some eye protection.  I was looking to both replace the old glasses and improve on the deficits.  Not being terribly vain, I wasn't too concerned with a fashionable look.  

Having been able to find most anything on Amazon, I went to that online shopping site first.  Being an Amazon Prime addict helps me with my inability to defer immediate gratification (free 2–day delivery).

My first find was safety glasses.  OK, safety was what I was aiming for.  They were less than $10, so I ordered them.  For $10 and free shipping, how can you go wrong?  Two days later, they arrived; the verdict?  Too Buddy Holly.  I was feeling more vain by the minute.

The next thing to come up on the search was motorcycle glasses.  What a good idea!  The rubber molding around the frame would keep the rocks, branches, sand, etc. out of my eyes–something the old glasses couldn't do.  Even though I wasn't scooting at motorcycle speeds, I still had the same concerns.  

I had always avoided color when purchasing.  Most everything I bought for scooting was black.  However, when I needed visible hand coverings, Amazon Prime had hot pink gloves on clearance that no driver could miss.  I cringed and ordered them.  Two days later, they arrived; the verdict?  Pink and very visible.
 
So, when I ordered the motorcycle glasses, I decided to be brave and ordered pink.  Two days later, they arrived and I vowed not to even look in the mirror.  I had given up on looking good a long time ago and was determined to stick with noticeable and safe.

Earl and I went for an outing on a new route (I scoot, he walks) and it seemed like a good time to try out my new motorcycle glasses.

"So Earl, what do you think of my new glasses?" 

That's the question everyone hates; when your spouse asks for an opinion and there is nothing complimentary to say.  It ranks up there with, "Does this make my butt look big?"  FYI–if you have to ask, the answer is "yes."
I could tell from his expression that this wasn't going to be good, but I confess to being curious about what he was going to say.
 
"Your mother would be so proud," he said pointedly, but diplomatically.  
"They go back,"  I snapped, having received the message loud and clear.  I returned the pink motorcycle glasses and ordered black ones.  

Now, I adored my eccentric and flamboyant mother–Ada was a hoot.  There are many times when hearing "your mother would be so proud" would make me feel proud.  But in her late seventies, Mom bought more and more pink, sparkly and shiny–everything.  Ada may have been able to carry it off; I just looked ridiculous.  


The lesson:  Amazon Prime rocks and I am vain.

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